Category Archives: Humor

Never Fear, Poetry’s Here

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Writing a poem makes some folks a-feared
But really it isn’t all that terribly weird

If at first the words don’t rhyme
Take a deep breath and take your time

The right phrase will hit you when you least expect
And your creation will have the perfect effect

You’ll be proud of your poem, trust me on this
Because rhyming words brings happiness and bliss

So give it a try, what is there to lose?
Silly poetry wards away the blues

No, really! It’s better and safer than drugs
Composing a poem’s like getting warm hugs

So if you decide to try and you’re game
Drop me a line and await glowing fame

You can find out how by hitting the “Contact” button
And you’ll soon be rhyming words like a poetry glutton!

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Betty the Inventor

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And on a completely different note: My own cat Betty is tired of all the attention Jessie’s cat Snowflake is getting, so Betty decided to enter a Halloween costume contest at her vet. Here’s the pic. We call it “Betty Builds a Better Mouse Trap,” and we’re hopeful she’ll be the winner!


 

 

 

 

Funny Definition of Fun

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Front matter, back matter
As we put my books in print

My brain begins to feel like
It is full of lint

Hubby is the patient one
He reminds me of a saint

He sits for hours pondering details
And does so without complaint

What about back cover content, he asks
The color of quotes and blurbs?

He shows me the thousands of choices
And I try not to think it’s absurd

But we finally get it together
He told me it could be done

My book is going to look perfect
And delirious hubby will say it was fun

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Whimsical Wednesday: Toothache

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A silly poem on a Wednesday? Can it possibly be true? Yep, folks, I’m launching a spot for guest poets on Wednesdays. Let’s call it “Whimsical Wednesdays With Friends.”

Today I have the pleasure of introducing my first guest, and he comes to us all the way from the UK! Andy Daniels is a new friend of mine from the Poets Group in LinkedIn. I have a feeling Andy is a much more serious poet than I. He’s even working on publishing a book of his poetry on Booksmart. But bless his heart, Andy also appreciates the sillier stuff and graciously composed the following especially for our reading enjoyment. Take it away, Andy…

Toothache

Sensitive teeth
And sleepless nights
Toothache
Never feels right
Dental appointment I’d delayed
But this time just had to be made

Sensitive teeth
Bleeding gums
Toothache
Definitely no fun
So with a slight nervous twitch
Went to visit the dentist

Sensitive teeth
So miserable
Toothache
Too uncomfortable
Had no choice so off I went
To tolerate dental treatment

Sensitive teeth
Myself to blame
Toothache
Gave me so much pain
Dentist said “Now open wide.”
And did so with dented pride

Andy J Daniels 5/10/12
Used by permission
(All rights reserved)

 

The Best Things in Life

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These are the words that fill me with glee:
It’s free!

The Charleston Art Walk is one such occasion
They offer us art, oreos and oblations
And it’s free!

Walking around town is another possibility
Gives my middle-aged waistline its needed stability
And it’s free!

The public library is marvelous indeed
Lots of fun programs and good stuff to read
And it’s free!

Listening to the cat purr does marvelous wonders
Aligns all the cosmos that tend to go asunder
And it’s free!

Can you think of others? I’d like to know
Add them to the comments and watch the freebies grow

Poetry in Odd Places

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What in tarnation!
A second poem about castration?
You might be thinking, “Oh, brother
How, oh how, could there possibly be another?

The poem from April first had a different theme
A medieval love affair was its basic scheme
But this here poem’s inspired by “My Cat From Hell”
A TV show I think is really swell

Jackson Galaxy is a cat behaviorist
On neutering your pets he strongly does insist
In last night’s show two episodes explored
This neutering theme, not to be ignored

And the cats were better off, trust Jackson on this
The critters went from misery to happiness and bliss
So you see? Poetry can be found in castration
And aren’t we all glad I’m done with this creation?

Ode to Andy

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Over fifty and of big changes I’m thinkin’
It’s enough to drive this old gal to drinkin’

Selling the house and blowing this town
But really, it shouldn’t be getting me down

Hubby and I have a whole new vision
We thought about it lots and reached a decision

The urban life with its downtown delights
No longer seems exactly just right

We talked to the cat, and she agrees too
We’re all ready to try something brand spankin’ new

A move to the country and out to the sticks
We’re already fuddy-duddies, and soon we’ll be hicks

This poem’s title might have you confused
But if Andy were reading, he’d be rather amused.

Have Cat Carrier, Will Travel

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The world is Betty’s oyster
She wants to see it all
Mention of a road trip
And she knows she’ll have a ball

Betty is a cat who
Likes to be on the go
Her whiskers get all twitchy
And her tail swishes to and fro

She hops into her cat carrier
And we put her in the car
But she meows to be set free
Before we’ve gotten very far

After poking around the back seat
She’s ready for a nap
The sun shining through the windshield
She settles on passenger’s lap

When the car stops for gas
Betty knows her place
With no prompting from her people
She re-enters her carrier space

At the hotel eventually we arrive
And Betty approves the room
After a brief stop at her litter box
Around and around she zooms

She finds a cozy window sill
Where she presides during the day
She enjoys her new surroundings
While her people go out to play

The road trip over and done with
Her cat carrier tucked away
Betty rests up on her home turf
Ready to travel some other day

Julia Child I Ain’t

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Years of trying but it never took
The fact remains I hate to cook

Given my druthers on what I prefer
To others my stove, I would gladly defer

Not that I can’t cook and bake
I make a to-die-for chocolate cake

Hubby likes that cooking stuff
Elaborate prep? He can’t get enough

Peaches for cobbler he is blanching today
and he’s roasting some garlic in a dish made of clay

Some sort of pasta sauce he is apt to prepare
With graters and blenders he has quite a flare

So to his heart’s delight my hubby cooks
Meanwhile me? I’ll be writing my books