I know it’s global warming
And therefore is badness
Environmentally this weather
Should make me feel sadness
But balmy Christmas temps
Only fill me with gladness
Record highs up and down
The whole Eastern coast
Is no valid reason
For anyone to boast
But for midwinter weather
I like it the most
It can snow all it wants
Some other week
With freezing cold ice
And forecasts all bleak
But for Christmas vacation
It’s this warmth I seek
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Pottery Barn kids
Or Pottery Barn teens
This is where
My taste leans
Perhaps this implies
That I’m immature
But it happened this time
Like it’s happened before
I needed new sheets
To put on my bed
I shopped around
But all roads led
Back to the kid stuff
With patterns so happy
All the adult sets
Weren’t nearly so snappy
I like pretty colors
Whimsy’s good, too
So here are my sheets
Bright, shinny, and new
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When Christmas approaches
The stores I avoid
Shopping-crazed crowds
Just make me annoyed
The Christmas tree hassle
I also don’t do
It takes too much space
And when you are through
All that undecorating
Needs to be done
Sorry, but I do not
Consider that fun
But before you decide
I’m a Scrooge through and through
One Christmas tradition
Each year thrills me anew
I like to take drives
To see Christmas lights
All the houses so happy
Now that’s a delight
I especially like families
Who go over the top
Like they started one day
And just couldn’t stop
I don’t try anything
Nearly so glorious
My balcony lights
Are not too uproarious
Just a simple statement
That I hope makes folks glad
And come undecorating day
I don’t have to be sad
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I live near Clemson
And if you haven’t heard
Their love of football
Is downright absurd
At least that’s how
It seems to me
This great joy from football
I myself do not see
And I guess that last night
They won some big game
Apparently the team
Is destined for fame
I went to Rutgers
A long time ago
Is their football team good?
How would I know?
Yes, football does not
Interest me one bit
Through a whole game
I doubt I could sit
But hey, as they say
To each different strokes
So congrats to all you
Clemson-loving blokes
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