Worst Christmas Poem Ever

I know it’s global warming
And therefore is badness
Environmentally this weather
Should make me feel sadness
But balmy Christmas temps
Only fill me with gladness

Record highs up and down
The whole Eastern coast
Is no valid reason
For anyone to boast
But for midwinter weather
I like it the most

It can snow all it wants
Some other week
With freezing cold ice
And forecasts all bleak
But for Christmas vacation
It’s this warmth I seek

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