What in tarnation!
A second poem about castration?
You might be thinking, “Oh, brother
How, oh how, could there possibly be another?
The poem from April first had a different theme
A medieval love affair was its basic scheme
But this here poem’s inspired by “My Cat From Hell”
A TV show I think is really swell
Jackson Galaxy is a cat behaviorist
On neutering your pets he strongly does insist
In last night’s show two episodes explored
This neutering theme, not to be ignored
And the cats were better off, trust Jackson on this
The critters went from misery to happiness and bliss
So you see? Poetry can be found in castration
And aren’t we all glad I’m done with this creation?
This past weekend I was at the Writers Police Academy–a conference where we mystery writers get to learn what real cops do. I have never spent so much time thinking about decomposing bodies. Here are a few shots (No real bodies, I promise).
A big gang of us on our way to hunt for the “shallow grave.”
We found it! Check out the dummy’s hand.
Lee Child and Marcia Clark were pretty intrigued, too.
Here’s a shoot out with the bad guys. No, we weren’t allowed to pet the dog, but he sure was cute!
And as if that weren’t enough for one week, I’m heading to the Writer’s Police Academy tomorrow for a fun-filled weekend learning about what real cops do. It’s a hands-on workshop, which means I will most definitely make a fool of myself. I’ll post some pics as soon as I’ve blundered my first pretend investigation.
My book is for sale!
Seven days out
And there’s no need to pout
Eleven I’ve sold
A start so bold
Who knows what untold
Success will unfold?
So be the first on your block
To put one in stock
Your Kindle is pining
To deliver this shining
Into your home!
Playing With Poison is now available on Amazon.
A poem about the weekend chores
I’m warning you ahead
This little ditty details
Cleaning out the shed
Why did we save this thing?
What use can it possibly serve?
I’m going to throw it out now
I’m getting up the nerve
Hubby holds up a trowel
Encrusted in who-knows-what
For fear of finding out
I keep my eyes most tightly shut
Two sets of old golf clubs
But honey, I’m confused
Why have we saved those for decades
When they’re never even been used?
And that thinga-ma-jig over there?
Someone gave us at our wedding
I don’t mean to alarm you
But I do believe it’s shedding
Why did I buy this junk?
A full gallon of purple paint
I’m trying to recall the project
But sorry, I really cain’t
That table with a broken leg
The repair was supposed to be easy
But since we’ve misplaced our hammer
The thought of fixing it makes me queasy
Several rolled up rugs
The cat long ago destroyed
Why didn’t we dump these sooner?
Okay, so I’m getting annoyed
But look! We’ve reached our bicycles
Which means we’re almost done
And now with a clear path to the doorway
They might actually see the sun.
Over fifty and of big changes I’m thinkin’
It’s enough to drive this old gal to drinkin’
Selling the house and blowing this town
But really, it shouldn’t be getting me down
Hubby and I have a whole new vision
We thought about it lots and reached a decision
The urban life with its downtown delights
No longer seems exactly just right
We talked to the cat, and she agrees too
We’re all ready to try something brand spankin’ new
A move to the country and out to the sticks
We’re already fuddy-duddies, and soon we’ll be hicks
This poem’s title might have you confused
But if Andy were reading, he’d be rather amused.
The world is Betty’s oyster
She wants to see it all
Mention of a road trip
And she knows she’ll have a ball
Betty is a cat who
Likes to be on the go
Her whiskers get all twitchy
And her tail swishes to and fro
She hops into her cat carrier
And we put her in the car
But she meows to be set free
Before we’ve gotten very far
After poking around the back seat
She’s ready for a nap
The sun shining through the windshield
She settles on passenger’s lap
When the car stops for gas
Betty knows her place
With no prompting from her people
She re-enters her carrier space
At the hotel eventually we arrive
And Betty approves the room
After a brief stop at her litter box
Around and around she zooms
She finds a cozy window sill
Where she presides during the day
She enjoys her new surroundings
While her people go out to play
The road trip over and done with
Her cat carrier tucked away
Betty rests up on her home turf
Ready to travel some other day