Get Lost

Patient, zen,
And rather sublime
That’s not me,
Cuz’ most of the time

I get angry, upset,
And totally distraught
Over stupid stuff
That really ought

Not trouble me at all.
Not important. Nada. Zip.
But I get worked up
And then let it rip

One really bad habit
I can’t seem to break
You’d think the end of the world
Or close was at stake

Is when I lose something
I stored away securely
And now I can’t find it
Folks, stand back for the fury

Where IS the stupid thing?
I put it in this drawer
It was only last week
I know it! I’m sure!

I scramble the contents
Why isn’t it there?
It’s gotta be here
Oh, life is so unfair!

I slam the drawer shut
And move on to the next
It better be here
Or I’ll get really vexed

My blood pressure soars
My heart gets to racing
I flap my arms
And then commence pacing

Ranting and raging
This goes on for a while
I already warned you
Zen’s just not my style

Do I ever find
Whatever I lost
I almost always do
But boy, at what cost.

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Recipe Index

My mother had some index cards
And her Betty Crocker book
Grandma didn’t even have that
And she made a living as a cook!

But then there’s me, who cooks,
Like, maybe once a week
Who has two hundred recipes
For every dish I seek

Two shelves full of cookbooks
For every ethnicity and diet
Here’s one for vegan Italian
Oh, honey, we must buy it

With my monthly Martha Stewart mag
I tear out this, that and the other
I have six recipes for pickled seaweed
And could surely use another

Pasta sauce recipes? Oh, honey
I have a hundred, at least
But of course I stick to my two favorites
For most every pasta feast

Right now I’m on a bundt cake kick
Chocolate mocha’s just the start
And when I’m done with this obsession
I’ll move onto lemon tarts
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