Whimsical Wednesday: Drunk with no E’s by Pam Barchers

Whimsical Wednesday With Friends is back!

Here’s fellow author (she writes Sci-Fi) Pamela Barchers’ contribution! Pam recently attended a writers workshop, and was given the following assignment: Write about a drunk guy at a bar. Easy, you say? Well here’s the catch. Pam had to write the description with no E’s. That’s correct. Zero E’s. She did it! And here’s her A+ assignment. When she does use E’s, Pam writes the Adelia Kayland Personal Logs–the adventures of a space traveler! 1st log up–Out Of Time, available on Amazon, along with Time Again and Manipulated Time. Check it out! But before you head over to Amazon, be sure to read about that drunk guy with no E’s…

Here is a link to the book: Out of Time by Pamela Barchers

Drunk with no E’s

Sitting in a bar, I spy a man who has had too much to drink.

I think I know this man.
Oh right, it’s Frank who owns a cabin a block down from us.

It’s obvious, from watching him wriggling on his stool, that Frank will soon go looking for a bathroom.

This is wrong, I’m thinking.
I thought Frank didn’t drink.
His brown suit looks dingy; has his old “ball-and-chain” thrown him out again? Poor thing!

I was right in my first assumption; Frank and his dingy brown suit slid off of his stool, stumbling forward to look for a bathroom.
Painfully, I watch this poor guy work his way forward, bumping into things, and gaining odd looks from many happy hour participants.

Finally, as Frank was almost to his mark, a crowd of idiots (thinking it funny) join to block his way.
Laughing at him mockingly, said boys would not allow him to pass.
Starting to pity him, I stood up to assist.
(Actually, I was not to worry for long.)

Surprisingly, I saw Frank work things out on his own, by unzipping his brown dingy pants, and casually urinating on a culprit’s foot!

Economy Class Gal

Hubby says I’m crazy
But this is how I feel
An upgrade to first class
Is really no big deal
A fancy hotel?
Or extravagant meal?
Oh yes, I find them
Most pleasant and surreal

But first-class flying
Does little for me
Since they seldom offer
Much of anything for free
Got upgraded for our recent
Trip to the sea
For breakfast we got pretzels
And a cup of coffee

Pretzels and potato chips
You read that right
They hung up our jackets
But that isn’t quite
Such a huge amazing
Incredible delight
Holding my own jacket’s
Not a great plight

So yes, I’ll take the upgrade
When they’re giving them away
But for such great “luxury”
I doubt I’ll ever pay
I’d rather splurge on something
When I get to where I’ll stay
Now they’re calling my “zone” for home
So I’d better not delay

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An Explanation of Exclamations!

My new favorite
Punctuation mark
Turns a sentence
The opposite of stark
On a poem about it
I hereby embark!

The Grammar Police
Would disapprove
They’d say this habit’s
Not a sound move
But I’ve gotten into
An unstoppable grove!

Now phrases without
An exclamation point
Seem rather old-fashioned
Perhaps even quaint!
And so I dismiss all
Harping or comploint

Exclamation points
Abound galore!
I use two quite often
But seldom do four!!
And the combo !?
Like that one for sure!!!!

I write my novels
Texts, e-mails, and tweets
Tossing in exclamation points
To wrap them up neat
Cuz’ without exclamations
My ideas aren’t complete!!

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A Small Adventure

No special topic
For this week’s poem
So out on my bike
I decided to roam
To change my setting
Away from my home

Headed to
The Swamp Rabbit Trail
A path that once was
Part of a road-rail
Perhaps the train
Transported the mail

I head out of Greenville
Through dale, over hill
Great exercise for me
But I got hungry, so still
Stopping for lunch
Sure hit the bill

So that’s how I spent
My day so far
And the quality of this poem
Is about on par
With the one that I wrote
About driving my car

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No Leaf Peeping for Me

How can it be
A friend asked me
That you left V.T.
When on every tree
The leaves turned orange?

I told that friend
Summer’s at end
Weather doesn’t bend
Winter it will send
To shacks with no heat

Leaf peeping now
But wait, and pow!
With snow on each bough
You’ll need a big plow
And I don’t like cold

S.C. today
Here I will stay
Come whatever may
Say yay or say nay
Until spring springs again

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