Aplomb-less

I handle life’s challenges with zero aplomb
To every little issue I quickly succumb
And start screaming bad words at the top of my lungs

The coffee’s too weak, and the cereal is soggy
I need gas in the car and the weather’s turned foggy
And I haven’t thought of a poem for my stupid weekly bloggy

The battery’s gone dead on the kitchen clock
And I can’t find the match to my most favorite sock
And my brilliant idea the boss just summarily blocked

These types of traumas put me over the top
And make my blood pressure do the opposite of drop
Even when I take a deep breath and tell myself to stop

I do yoga and long walks for some zen-ish insight
To which my foul moods say “Get serious. Yeah, right!
Now you’re all sweaty and your hair looks a fright.”

Yes, other people seem way more well-adjusted
In patience and sanity they seem to be encrusted
I wonder, can these people really be trusted?

R.I.P. X-15

I miss my Kodak X-15
My little old camera I have not seen
Since I was young, maybe in college
In the good old days when my technical knowledge
Was adequate enough
To operate my stuff

Flash cube in place, X-15 was ready to go
I click-clicked away at whatever the show
Film came in 12, 24, or 36 prints
And working the thing took very few hints
Just open the little shutter and click for Lord’s sake
A degree in computer science X-15 did not take

This digital nonsense is not for me
My I-phone camera drives me bonkers-crazy
Hoping to capture an image for Face Book
I turn the thing on and take another look
But alas, I did not slide slide or push button
And the photo I wanted has long since been forgotten

So Face Book friends see little from yours truly
My %$#@&* camera is just too unruly
My X-15 long gone I do mourn
I miss the good old days of yesterday and yorn
When I could take a photo whenever the mood struck
When it took no techno-skill, just simple dumb luck

A Love Poem, of Sorts

Technology is my friend. Not.
Talent at my computer I really don’t got
Good thing I have Hubby, who has patience a lot
And constantly saves me from every rough spot

Excel Spreadsheet or Adobe Acrobat?
This kind of stuff makes my brain go splat-splat
But hubby keeps the hazards from laying me out flat
And never tells me I’m stupider than the cat

Hubby does all my updates and any computer duty
The stuff that makes me use words like gosh-darn and phooey
Indeed, when I see him with my laptop I get downright gooey