Get Lost

You can’t miss it!
Well, take a guess what
The phrase fills me with fear
And puts knots in my gut

If there’s a way to get lost
That’s all I will find
The landmark’s dissappeared
Drives me out of my mind

The GPS system
On my fancy smart-phone
Generally speaking
Can get me back home

But it does make mistakes
That’s what I think
And I find myself lost
Before my eyes blink

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Not for the Faint of Heart

A poem about the weekend chores
I’m warning you ahead
This little ditty details
Cleaning out the shed

Why did we save this thing?
What use can it possibly serve?
I’m going to throw it out now
I’m getting up the nerve

Hubby holds up a trowel
Encrusted in who-knows-what
For fear of finding out
I keep my eyes most tightly shut

Two sets of old golf clubs
But honey, I’m confused
Why have we saved those for decades
When they’re never even been used?

And that thinga-ma-jig over there?
Someone gave us at our wedding
I don’t mean to alarm you
But I do believe it’s shedding

Why did I buy this junk?
A full gallon of purple paint
I’m trying to recall the project
But sorry, I really cain’t

That table with a broken leg
The repair was supposed to be easy
But since we’ve misplaced our hammer
The thought of fixing it makes me queasy

Several rolled up rugs
The cat long ago destroyed
Why didn’t we dump these sooner?
Okay, so I’m getting annoyed

But look! We’ve reached our bicycles
Which means we’re almost done
And now with a clear path to the doorway
They might actually see the sun.

Ode to Andy

Over fifty and of big changes I’m thinkin’
It’s enough to drive this old gal to drinkin’

Selling the house and blowing this town
But really, it shouldn’t be getting me down

Hubby and I have a whole new vision
We thought about it lots and reached a decision

The urban life with its downtown delights
No longer seems exactly just right

We talked to the cat, and she agrees too
We’re all ready to try something brand spankin’ new

A move to the country and out to the sticks
We’re already fuddy-duddies, and soon we’ll be hicks

This poem’s title might have you confused
But if Andy were reading, he’d be rather amused.

Julia Child I Ain’t

Years of trying but it never took
The fact remains I hate to cook

Given my druthers on what I prefer
To others my stove, I would gladly defer

Not that I can’t cook and bake
I make a to-die-for chocolate cake

Hubby likes that cooking stuff
Elaborate prep? He can’t get enough

Peaches for cobbler he is blanching today
and he’s roasting some garlic in a dish made of clay

Some sort of pasta sauce he is apt to prepare
With graters and blenders he has quite a flare

So to his heart’s delight my hubby cooks
Meanwhile me? I’ll be writing my books

Why I Love Summer

The sights I see off of my dock,
Let me just sit here and take accurate stock.
Sailboards, and canoes, and kayaks galore
And every other kind of boat, you name it, for sure.

No yachts, but who needs something so big
When one can ski behind a much smaller rig?
Pontoon boats and power boats pull kids all ages and sizes.
Everyone has fun, but no one wins prizes.

The waterfowl need no help staying afloat.
They probably laugh at all of us fools in a boat.
Loons, and merganzers, a gull, and ducks mallard.
It’s the birds that inspired this ridiculous ballard.

The water itself is a fabulous sight
The lake gets all sparkly under brilliant sunlight
And the waterlillies bounce upon the waves so mild
Is it any wonder I’ve loved this place since I was a child?

Shine On, Super Moon

A late night stroll on Charleston Battery
Curious to see the lunar perigee

Less scientific folks called it a super moon
I hear it won’t happen again anytime soon

Too bad, since it was a downright lovely sight
And a real fun way to spend Saturday night

The winds and waves in Charleston Bay
Were also worth noting, and I must say

Thanks, Man in the Moon, for smiling on us all
The whole city at the waterfront, having a ball