You’ve Been Warned!

Every Sunday
I used to engage
In getting a poem
Down onto the page

With rhythms haphazard
And rhymes so poor
Despite these drawbacks
You could be sure

To read something new
Every week without fail
But my poetry skills
Began to get stale

No matter my effort
The rhymes didn’t flow
After hours of work
I’d have nothing to show

But it’s poetry month
Two thousand seventeen
So I’d love to get back
Into this routine

Cuz I’m out of practice
Please cut me my slack
Be that as it may
My bad poetry blog’s back!

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I Bow to Bob

Kuddos to Dylan
On his recent Nobel
He really deserves it
His words are just swell

And here I have finished
My next mystery story
Though I do not expect
Such fame or much glory

No, the reason I
Continue writing
The thing I find
The most exciting

Is readers who tell me
My books make them happy
They like to laugh
They’re okay with sappy

Silly characters?
Every single one!
Unlikely plots?
Hey, that’s what’s so fun

So Unexpected’s
My latest endeavor
I hope to keep writing
Both now and forever

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Unexpected is available on Amazon!!!

Whimsical Wednesday with Jim Jackson

Whimsical Wednesdays With Friends Welcomes Jim Jackson

Whether you got A’s in math or F’s you are in for a treat! The fabulous Jim Jackson, author of the amazing Seamus McCree Mysteries and mathematician extraordinaire, is also a world class poet! Take it away Jim…

Whimsical Math

Let’s talk numbers, you and me.
Six: it’s as perfect as perfect can be.
Take its divisors: one, two, and three,
Add them together: six again. See?

Can you find the next one all on your own?
No fair cheating: Googling on your phone.
No rolling your eyes and letting out a groan.
Here’s a hint: weight in pounds of exactly two stone!

A stone equals fourteen pounds, multiply by two,
Gives you twenty-eight; let’s see if it’s true.
One, two, four, seven, fourteen make up our queue.
Twenty-eight is their sum; perfect numbers, adieu.

Are you up for a math trick designed just for you?
Multiply the first digit of your age by five –please do!
Now add three to that sum and multiply the total by two.
Check your work carefully to avoid a boo-boo.

Time to please add your last digit into the mix.
Remember that perfect number – the first one, you know, six?
Subtract it from the total and your age should appear.
But really, you don’t look a day over twenty-one, my dear.

Just in case my math did not translate well,
I’ll do it myself, just so you can tell,
If the trick really works without a headache.
Here’s the arithmetic I would have to make:

Sixty-five is my age, so multiplying six by five
Equals thirty. Plus three is the next piece of jive.
That sum times two is sixty-six, to which I add five
For seventy-one. Now less six and <poof>, sixty-five!

Here’s a trick with number reversals you might know.
I’ll give an example to help you follow the steps below.
Take any three digits zero to nine
And reverse them in order to make our design.

So 567 becomes 765; no need to curse.
Subtract the smaller from the larger: 198 in this verse.
Now reverse that number (981) and add them just so:
I guarantee the result is 1,089. What do you know?

An asterisk is needed to make the rules clear.
Leading zeros are necessary to include, I fear.
Start with 028 and the formula will steer
You to 1,089, if to the rules you adhere.

028 from 820 (its reverse, do you see?)
Yields 792. Add 297 and 1,089 it will be.
If the difference in numbers is less than one hundred
The leading zero is needed (in case you wondered).

For example, 574 reversed gives you 475.
The difference (99) needs the zero to survive.
Reversed it’s 990, now add them together.
Once again 1,089. We’re rolling in heather!

I see your eyes glazing, so I’ll stop this whimsy.
I know the rhymes were forced, and the rhythm was flimsy,
But admit in the comments if you were entertained.
Or tell me if you think this whole thing was harebrained.

Published with Permission of the Author
All Further Rights Reserved

James M. Jackson (Jim) authors a series featuring the financial crimes expert Seamus McCree. ANT FARM (2015), a prequel to BAD POLICY (2013) and CABIN FEVER (2014), won a Kindle Scout nomination. BAD POLICY won the Evan Marshall Fiction Makeover Contest whose criteria were the freshness and commerciality of the story and quality of the writing. Jim has also published an acclaimed book on contract bridge, ONE TRICK AT A TIME: How to start winning at bridge, as well as numerous short stories and essays.

Long ago, in a galaxy far away, Jim earned a BS in Mathematics and an MBA concentrating in finance. His work would have bored most people, but he’s always enjoyed the playful side of numbers and language as his poem today demonstrates.

To find out more about Jim, his writing and how to contact him, check out his website http://jamesmjackson.com

So what do you think, folks? Jim really is a world class poet, huh? When I invited my fellow Kindle Scout winner to guest on my little old blog I had NO idea. I’m sure you enjoyed the rhymes and the number games as much as I did. If so, please leave Jim a message below, and by all means, buy the man’s books!! And I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say, Thank You, Jim!

A Progress Report

My creativity
Seems to happen in spurts
When the words won’t flow
It really does hurt

Two thousand fifteen
Did not go so well
It was like I was living
In a bad spell

I got stuck in the first draft
I got stuck on the plot
I got stuck on characters
I got stuck a lot

But two thousand sixteen?
With the words flowing fast
I sit down to write
And have fun! It’s a blast!

So Unexpected
May actually get written
Of this latest creative spell
I am indeed smitten

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The First Draft Blues

The dreaded first draft
Is going so slowly
I’m so unproductive
It makes me feel lowly

The characters unformed
The plot’s just a mess
The story so far?
This must be a test

With each book this happens
I have to keep going
Write some each day
All the time knowing

That I’ll start to like it
One wonderous day
Writing stops being work
And starts to be play

Oh, when will I get to
That glorious point?
I do hope it’s soon
Cuz my mood’s out of joint

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Blog Fog

Every Sunday
I promise a rhyme
But what’s been happening
Much of the time

Before I know it
Sunday is here
And it’s happened again
Just as I feared

I have no topic
For this week’s blog
A poem about what?
My mind is a fog

No subject strikes me
Any theme fly away
So my lack of ideas
Is the theme for today

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I’m Ba-ack

A bad poem each week
Was always the plan
Because of dumb poetry
I am a big fan

I kept up the pace
For many a year
With poems so stupid
They’d bring you to tears

But this past month
I’ve been a bit lazy
My rhyming mechanism
Has been rather hazy

But today I renew
My bad poetry vow
So that each new week
You can read and say Wow!

To continue her blog
She really is nuts
Writing poetry so awful?
It must take some guts

But courage or delusions
My hobby is back
This blog will continue
Though talent I lack

I’m here to tell you
Whatever the reason
At this blog it’s always
Bad poetry season!

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Great Blue

I think of him
As a southern bird
But up here in summer
He is not of unheard

A great blue heron
Keeps visiting the shack
At the lakefront, of course
Not the woods in the back

At dawn and at dusk
He presides at the dock
Regal and majestic
Assessing fish-stock

A symbol of self-reliance
In myth and in lore
Herons are loners
That is for sure

Which means he’s a bird
Who knows me quite well
And maybe that’s why
I’ve been under his spell

And why at my lakefront
He’s become quite a fixture
But he’s camera shy
So I don’t have a picture

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Kindle Scout: The Final Frontier

It’s true and you have
A right to complain
Yet another poem on
My kindle scout campaign

Just this last time
And I promise I’ll stop
But now’s the last week
For you to hop

Over to Five Spot’s
Campaign page
Everyone’s doing it
It’s all the rage!

And while you’re there
Please do hit
That nominate key
And then I’ll quit

Bugging you
To vote for me
I’ll get off your back
And you’ll be free

And next week’s poem
Will be something new
Cuz my Five Spot campaign
Will be totally through

Voting Ends September 14th!

https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/32F95ZQHQMJ52

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